dennisjr‌:

we tried hard to stand it. we
were barely human. we were bodies
stacked with pain. we never said sorry,
didn’t wanna. you were always drunk
& sad & too far gone for that. I was
terrible & I didn’t care about being better.

but now you’re standing in my bedroom.
now you’re scared & you say you
wanna get into heaven. you wanna
stand in some form of light that isn’t
filtered through clouds of crude smoke.
good luck, & who knows, maybe god
will forgive us for all of this. the stones
we threw, the ankles we bit, the people
we kissed. showing up at the gates
with our tails between our legs.
starved & mad, two dogs who missed
their last meal, licking our wounds &
itching for a fair fight.

there so much to get mad about.
go ahead pick something. imagine
if it helped. imagine if mattered.
I didn’t cry when you left. I just
circled ‘round the block & waited
for you to come back. because
you always do. because I know
how this goes. we pretend we
aren’t the same & then we realize
we are & we pretend we don’t care.
we need each other & that’s all we do.

it’s crazy the things you do for a friend.
it’s crazy the way you’ll act for love.

I am not the first person you loved.
You are not the first person I looked at
With a mouthful of forevers. We
have both known loss like the sharp edges
of a knife. We have both lived with lips
more scar tissue than skin. Our love came
unannounced in the middle of the night.
Our love came when we’d given up
on asking love to come. I think
that has to be part
of its miracle.
(…)
I know sometimes
it’s still hard to let me see you
in all your cracked perfection,
but please know:
whether it’s the days you burn
more brilliant than the sun
or the nights you collapse into my lap
your body broken into a thousand questions,
you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I will love you when you are a still day.
I will love you when you are a hurricane.

Clementine Von Radics, Mouthful Of Forevers (via clementinevonradicspoems)