daverose:

jay n i in the shower talking about dave and rose’s sex life because, of course:

jay: god bdsm would be so bad for dave like he’s traumatized don’t reinforce the idea that violence means love

me: ok but…. sometimes a girl just wants to get spanked

jay: ok but it wouldn’t work anyway like dave would do it and then be like “*texan accent* and that was for stealing grandmammy’s pie from the windowsill you know that was for your little sister’s wedding slash eleventh birthday party”